rah's world

in key west....

2009-01-25T17:13:00.002-05:00

and my camera broke!!! i am pretty upset. i think i have a few pictures to share when i get back. stay tuned. having a blast. sunburned, happy and relaxed...

because i forgot to mention before.

2009-01-14T20:45:00.002-05:00

these are the super awesome dishtowels that i had made for holiday gifts to family. i ordered some all natural flour sack towels, came up with the design, consulted with my good friend dom of the arm factory and he printed them up in his shop. go to him for all your screenprinting needs please. he is the greatest.

resting

2009-01-14T20:32:00.002-05:00

last night's little project. i was supposed to be resting but, inspiration struck, and i busted out these lovely little potholders. for sale at the niblic. fun little project thanks to katie. she got me some great potholders at this really fun store ferdinand and i decided to bite their style. getting rich one pot holder at a time on a small island off the coast of maine. its called committment.

winter is crazy when you live on an island

2009-01-14T20:22:00.003-05:00

super high high tide. full mooon

rewind a week. please.

2009-01-14T19:57:00.006-05:00

the past week was, weird. i would not do it again if i had a choice. except one part of one thing, but that is something else all together.

here are the beautiful lobsters that i used in an amazing lobster bisque that ended up blowing up. its a mystery. shame, shame, shame. poor lobsters died in vain.

new, new adventures. on island.

2009-01-06T22:03:00.002-05:00

one of the many, many difficult parts of island living is making a living on the island. you have to be willing to do anything and not be afraid of hard work. and you have to be creative. i have done a lot of very, very random things just to be able to work on the island. there have been times in my life where i have lived on the mainland... portland... and still commuted to the island to work. because i love being here that much. i have done the following in my many years of working on the island: painted boats; pumped gas; cleaned houses for 2 different businesses and then started my own cleaning business; sternman; smack betty for dropping springs lobster co-op; director of recreation center; scallop harvester; metalsmith; metalsmith; jewelry maker; seamstress; caterer; retail and now... i have a new hat to wear... chef. baker. builder of soups. my big sister vicki opened a store, The Niblic at The Chebeague Island Boat Yard this summer and had a very successful start. Now, in the down season, we are experimenting with offering food with the future intention of having a restaurant and I get to be the creator of foods. I am keeping it pretty simple as it is just me, but this is the plan: soups 2 days a week; a take home dinner once a week~ this week is chicken pot pie; baked goods for the mornings and a dessert such as pie or cake at the end of the week. Today was my first day of really cooking. It was crazy, the kitchen is not really a kitchen but I am making do. I made Streusal Blueberry Muffins (will have recipe soon) and Chicken Corn Bacon Chowder and biscuits for tomorrow. delish. I already have 2 orders for Chicken Pot Pie... yes! We will see if i am getting in over my head but i'm pretty stoked about it. I have been missing working on the boat and feeling bored working in the retail space so it will nice to be doing something i love to do. and, miraculously, i have discovered something else to do on island, to keep me rooted here. blurry picture is view from my kitchen. yes!!!

new. freshy fresh

2009-01-05T23:01:00.002-05:00

its a new new freshy fresh year. i want to go sledding more and drink more hot chocolate. i want to make more puppets and take more pictures. i want to hang out with the friends i have and i want to get to know my new friends more. i want to sing more and dance more and sit on more benches. i want to look into the eyes of someone who really loves me and really love them back. i want more fingerpainting in the world. i want the children to eat less sugar and preservatives. i know within the deepest part of my soul that this new fresh year will be better than the past. the tradegies of my past are taking a new role and moving over for happiness. cheers to fresh. new. and old. good.

the sublime and the profane

2008-11-18T16:18:00.004-05:00

by gustav klimt

2008-11-15T20:51:00.002-05:00

future tattoo, but different.

my paradise.

2008-11-15T20:48:00.002-05:00

i love home

2008-11-13T20:50:00.005-05:00

they drove on ice... from chebeague to portland... damn.

bennets cove 10/27

2008-11-13T20:47:00.001-05:00

2008-11-09T10:00:00.000-05:00

The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy.
Martin Luther King jr.

wake n bacon

2008-11-06T22:10:00.002-05:00

turn any vegetarian into a pig chompin super freak after a heavy night of whiskey.

2008-11-06T19:45:00.000-05:00

"we choose everything we do, including the misery we feel"

william glasser

jewels island rocks.

2008-10-18T11:07:00.002-04:00

super camping trip tomorrow night.

2008-10-10T23:06:00.002-04:00

yes.....fall camping. is bombtastic. jewels island.

2008-10-10T23:01:00.003-04:00

happy early birthday to me.

2008-10-10T22:46:00.003-04:00

i tried to resist but economy be damned. i needed to give myself a super early birthday present. other presents to myself will have to be sacrificed like awesome tattoo i wanted matt(check his blog here) to grace upon me ... but... seriously. these boots frye boots are. beautiful. and i'm a scorpio, so therefore, i am impulsive at times.

i wish i got a picture of this a few weeks ago

2008-10-10T22:38:00.002-04:00

seriously. this is a sunflower growing in the rocks of my favorite beach on the island. a few weeks ago it had full on petals and stood straight up. pretty cool.

existence is never static...

2008-09-28T10:14:00.001-04:00

falling in love all over again

2008-09-23T10:41:00.002-04:00

with autumn. the f-bomb and i went to sandy beach (my fav) this morning and it was awesome. it was peaceful and calm. the air was crisp and clear but it wasn't too cold, just a nice nip to the air that made breathing deep. the water sparkled. the air smelled of woodsmoke. the birds were loud and joyous and waves lapping the beach were rhythmic and serene. i am always sad to see the summer go and it seems to go so quickly but today i remembered why i love the fall best of all. time slows a little. my island becomes mine again as the summer people pack up and move off to warmer climates or city living. i make more soup. the autumn is an industrious and busy time too. trying to get those last minute things done before the winter sets in and we settle down with our winter things. i still need to go camping, i still need to visit miles in ashburnham, i still need to get to north conway. this morning the sun is shining in my window and i am making soup and doing homework and thinking about the new quilt i want to make to curl up with this winter and i am falling in love with the leaves changing the and air and the blue of the ocean and i am falling in love with fall.

sarah's theme:

2008-09-15T22:50:00.000-04:00

what we think, we become.
buddah

things i'm loving right now in no particular order.

2008-09-14T21:52:00.002-04:00

1. stella pinot grigio
2. man's search for meaning by viktor e. frankl
3. gomoos
4. being back in school and absorbing.
5. the harbormaster at portlandpie
6. rainy sundays
7. the pogie mafia
8. the predator
9. splicing ropes. still.
10. self actualization
11. biggie smalls is the illest
12. swallowfield
13. gustav klimt

lets worship real heroes.

2008-09-09T22:09:00.003-04:00

alice paul. imprisoned and beaten for advocating women's right to vote. she went on a hunger strike while in prison and they tied her hands to her chair and shoved a tube down her throat. they then proceeded to shove liquids down her throat until she vomited. she was tortured for weeks until word leaked to the press. for believing that women should have the right to vote. i thank all the women out there that fight and refuse to settle for less that what we all deserve as humans. and i thank all the men out there that support the strong women in their lives as their friends, lovers, partners, sisters, mothers and daughters or whatever. lets love and worship and respect the heroes we have around us.

today, along with alice paul, my hero is my mother, kendra. its her birthday and she has just turned a lovely 54. love you mumz. you are the bestest role model a daughter could have.

authenticity.

2008-09-09T22:06:00.002-04:00

the truth of what one says lies in what one does.
bernhard schlink

like a little school girl....

2008-09-03T07:01:00.003-04:00

today is my first class of my masters program. i'm nervous.

a sunday ride

2008-09-02T10:55:00.002-04:00

i worship good food.

2008-08-30T19:19:00.002-04:00

#1. hamilton family cook out tomorrow so i made the best ever kale salad katie shared with me earlier this summer. and now i am passing along the love.

make this salad the day or several hours before you want to eat because it needs to soak up the yumminess of the marinade.

freshy fresh kale.
wash. de-stem and tear into smaller, bite size pieces. katie says she rubs the kale with salt to aid in the wilting process but you only need to do that if you don't have a lot of time before you want to eat it. if you make it the day before the marinade makes the kale wilt so i usually just put the kale in a bowl and sprinkle with salt and let it sit while i make the marinade.

marinade.
**olive oil of the virgin persuasion
**red wine vinegar. i use a pomegranate red wine variety that is good and has extra anti-oxidants. but any would do. i've never used balsamic but i think it would be good too.
**shallots or red onion sliced thinly
** garlic
**pepper
**tamari
**maple syrup
**mustard or mustard powder
**ginger, fresh or ginger powder
put all ingrediants in a jar or whatever and shake.

pour over kale. put in the fridge. let infuse. eat it up later. its amazing. and good for you.

#2. in celebration of miles' visit this past weekend i made his mom's linguine feta yumminess.i've been making this recipe for over 8 years and it never, ever gets old. the only thing i ever change is the variety of beans. this is probably the easiest thing ever to make. and it tastes like heaven in your mouth.

make linguine.
strain and set aside.

while thats doing its thing do this in a wok:
saute a white onion in olive oil and tamari until translucent.
add garlic.
add beans. these work best: navy/cannelini beans; chick peas/garbanzo beans
add chopped tomatoes. any kind of tomato will do.
season with pepper.
add linguine
saute briefly until warm.
add feta cheese. melt a little.
serve immediately.
you don't even know how good this is.

check out what my friend porter has been up to

2008-08-30T11:04:00.002-04:00

"swimming cities of switchback sea"
be sure to look at the multimedia section to see the photos....

dogs do lick toads to get high.

2008-08-30T10:55:00.001-04:00

my dog is a junkie. frothing frodo.

word. roots. i find this interesting.

2008-08-29T18:04:00.002-04:00

the word care comes from the latin word caru which means "sorrow, anxiety, grief," and that to care is to lament. as cameron would say... isn't that weird? but think about it. really think about what it means to care. about someone, a cause, an ideal, anything.

ric is sick.............

2008-08-26T23:58:00.004-04:00

this is awesomeness is my oldschool friend's arm. check it out. its crazycool.

by dingwell. portland.me

and some info

2008-08-25T21:56:00.003-04:00

read here if you have concerns about bob.

the death of bob.

2008-08-25T21:32:00.003-04:00

i happen to live in an apartment connected to the house that my parents bought when my mum was just 18. when the parents divorced bruce stayed and my mum left. my childhood sandbox has always been out front. i noticed this morning however that the sandbox is gone. the sand is still there but the box around it is gone. sad. this brought back a flood of memories, including bob. bob was my imaginary friend. i really, truly loved bob. we did a lot together. we spent lots of time in that sandbox chatting it up. my sister hated bob. i worshipped my sister. she also hated me at the time but i think that she hated the fact that i had something she didnt have and couldn't even see for that matter. when she would happen upon me having a grand old time with bob she would get...agitated. she would insist that he wasn't real. i was not convinced. i could see him. there he was with his red shirt on and sandy fingers. there was the castle we were builing together, the shovel at his feet. the juice can used a mold in my hand. or, yeah, that's him, swinging on the swing next to me, swinging his chunky little legs and pumping away to try to get higher than me (yeah right). i would sing and he would sing too. micheal row your boat. rhiannon. good day sunshine. and then the sister. telling me i was nuts for having a fake friend that was a boy no less. i never listened. she would yell at him to leave but she never seemed to yell directly at him because she never knew where he was. until one day. bob and i were kicking it in sandbox, letting the cool sand trickle over our legs and through our fingers talking about this and that. then the sister came home and was immediately all over bob and me in the sandbox. she stormed up to us and demanded to know exacty where bob was. um. hello. he's right next to me. the sandbox~ not very big. the sister picks up a bucket. fills it with sand and dumps it right on bobs head. i freaked. what was that for? you got sand in his eyes! his mouth! and the sister laughed and said bob's dead sarah. and walked away. and poof. bob was gone. and he never came back. the power of the sister, the giver of light, the taker of life.

giant slugs live outside my door.

2008-08-25T20:51:00.001-04:00

leopard slug. gross.

the deobrah lee. the jenny. the rahlee

2008-08-25T20:30:00.002-04:00

stephen's pirate father, danny (poopie to his grandkids) recently returned from a boat off of alaska. he was home for 2 days and then disappeared to gloucester. then he returned with this 80ft dragger. how he manages these things is a mystery. carly and i have decided that he needs to change the name of the boat from the deborah lee to just the rahlee. combo of sarah and carly. we took a tour today. its in rough, rough shape and needs a good scouring. then its going to be a party boat. think... late october birthday party for me and car. slash haunted boat. mark with be in the fish holds in his box. much scarier then the last haunted house, but i'm still going to be a pirate.

just a little light reading this evening...

2008-08-20T21:27:00.002-04:00

i found my pocket Constitution and thought i'd read it since it had been some time. my favorite. the 19th amendment. 88 years of voting for women. we are sooooo lucky that those men finally decided we were smart enought to vote. fucking smuchs. ratified 08/18/1920

"The right of citizens of the United States to vote shall not be denied or abridged by the United States or by any State on account of sex.
Congress shall have power to enforce this article by appropriate legislation"

why put off until monday when you can do it today.

2008-08-20T21:18:00.003-04:00

we decided to go for the yellow buoy today. why wait we thought. we are easily amused on the predator.

japanese proverb

2008-08-19T22:01:00.000-04:00

vision without action is a daydream. action without vision is a nightmare.

baby lobsters are soooo cute.

2008-08-18T20:10:00.004-04:00

alex saved this baby to show me cause he knew i'd love it. i found one this small once before. they are very cute when they are very small.

ah. monday.

2008-08-18T18:38:00.004-04:00

we spotted a yellow buoy today so we'll shoot for that one next week. i'm thinking... christmas cards for all the lobstermen... they'll be missing me by then. it's a stop light theme, or rasta colors... red gold and green. i'm going to give the trio to my mumz. she'll be so proud of me, 2 degrees and on my way to my masters and i love to hang out on buoys. this one had an interesting nest on top. the lobster boats that were near by must of thought we were crazy. stephen and i were laughing pretty hard. i was crying and trying not to fall off. it was really special.

because i love a challenge

2008-08-16T16:29:00.006-04:00

tomorrow is katie's shower and late last night i decided it would be a great idea to make lobster bisque. and i've never made a lobster bisque before in my life. obviously this was the perfect time to experiment with seafood for 20 or so people. my experience at earthfoods, a collectively run vegetarian restaurant really helped. we made soup to feed 500 people daily so the big portions where familiar.i think its going to be delish. it took forever. cooking and picking out all those lobsters was tedious. it smells perrrrfect. this is a non-traditional bisque (extra goodies) while leaving all the traditional ingredients in that makes bisque so f---ing yum... you know, the truckload of butter and milk truck of half and half.
try this out:
saute:
butter
onion
garlic
celery
carrots
mushrooms
pepper
cayenne pepper
tamari
use locally grown and organic if you can because its good to support your local farmers.

when veggies are tender add veggie stock. simmer for a bit.
let cool a little then blend in blender with some lobster meat.
put mixture back in pot.
add half and half
lots of lobster
dry white cooking wine.
roast corn.
add corn.
simmer.
and eat.

i'm letting this bad boy sit until tomorrow, always better the next day. next is homemade croutons out of bagettes i had shipped over from standard baking co. i love to cook. for other people.

art good, war, not so good.

2008-08-14T15:50:00.000-04:00

where there is love there is life~ mohandas k. gandhi

2008-08-12T22:03:00.003-04:00

planning this wedding shower for katie has got me thinking about love. katie and dom have a great kind of love, the love that gives one hope and makes you see that you don't have to be swallowed and consumed by all relationships. its cool to love, be loved and in love and still maintain individuality. but love. love. love. this is what i am thinking about love today. why is our language so limited when it comes to love. we have one word for love, love. there is one word to describe my love for asparagus, my love for my nephews, my love for the smell of the ocean, my love of waking in the arms of someone i love, my love for great music.art.goat cheese, and my love for a nice glass of prosecco. i love all of these things and more. i love my mumz and my family and my friends and my island, and coffee and meeting new and interesting people that make me laugh. i love being at the wheel of the predator steaming back from portland. i love making people laugh and acting silly. i love having deep angry heated political debates and night walks on the beach. i love fireflys and nelson mandela. i love hugs and making people feel good and telling the truth and standing up for what i believe and i love being strong and opinionated and i love my grandmother. so here are a bunch of things i love and there is only one word to describe that love. other peoples have many words~ up to 32 in one language for love (i learned this in a book). but we are limited in english with this one measly word that means so much and sometimes it means not a lot at all to some people. i love fresh laundry and making love... i love. love. love. some people get freaked out when you say love. those people need to relax. i tell my peeps i love them all the time. it's nice to be loved, to love, to feel the love.

the bees knees

2008-08-12T19:56:00.001-04:00

it was the oldest sound there was. souls flying away.

the secret lives of bees

2008-08-11T21:04:00.004-04:00

there is a book i love. the secret lives of bees. i think i have read this book at least 13 times. maybe 27, i cannot keep track. once i read it twice in 2 weeks when on a road trip from here to arkansas. every time it's a new story, beautiful, delicious and heart wrenching. i'm reading it again right now because i recently heard they are making a movie to be released in october (best month ever). Queen Latifah, Alicia Keys, Jennifer Hudson and Dakota Fanning. a great cast. every page of this book contains pure gems. sentences contructed with mastery. mastery of language, emotion, description. sue monk kidd kills it in this book. her second book sucked but this is pure mastery.(i like this word today) this story is golden. every time i read it i take something different from it, different sentences rock my world. i am halfway through on this reading and i am loving these sentences now:
"i realized it for the first time in my life: there is nothing but pure mystery in the world, how it hides behind the fabric of our poor browbeat days, shining brightly, and we don't even know it"
and...
"the hardest thing on earth is choosing what matters"

and this is true.

bad sarah

2008-08-11T20:30:00.000-04:00

this is what stephen does when i get mouthy. happy monday.

i covet this truck

2008-08-10T20:30:00.005-04:00

i have been stalking this truck around the island for a couple of weeks now and finally had my camera and was able to sniper these pictures. i love this truck. i would do almost a lot for this truck.

p.t. wrecker in the house

2008-08-06T22:15:00.003-04:00

my friend porter is coming to visit. he's a writer, lives in brooklyn and does cool things like skis in chile and is now sailing a little old sail boat up the coast of maine and writing a book about it. he's coming to my rock tomorrow! it's been 4 years or so since i've seen him so i'm looking forward to seeing him. i'm thinking i'll get a chapter, or at least a paragraph. i am very funny. and amusing.

just need to post this picture. today was nasty out there on the float. ps. i'm related to all 3 men in the picture. sad but true.

i love that other people still go to hippie festivals

2008-08-06T21:59:00.002-04:00

because i can send my stuff and someone else will sell it. dom and friends are going somewhere this weekend where hippies gather for music and drugs and stuff. i made 10 pairs of earrings and some bracelets and he will peddle my goods for me. which is great because i just like to make it, not sell it. i'm thinking i'll save the money i make for my birthday tattoo that i am dreaming of (scorpion cover-up that is going to be awesommmme when matt tattoos me) or this fancy tool i drool over in my jewelry catalogue.

little copper leaves

2008-08-06T21:48:00.005-04:00

i worked in the metal shop this week for a few hours. it was nice to be back there. i always get super inspired when i get to work there and have mini panic attacks about whether grad school is what i should be focusing on right now. i wonder if i should focus on creating and writing and not thinking of those things as hobbies but as my work work. i worked on brass maple leaves in 2 different sizes. i cut and detailed probably 50-60 of each size. i love the hydraulic press.

aaron and claudia

2008-08-05T07:04:00.005-04:00

i have been thinking a lot about aaron and claudia lately. these are jasen's kids who i haven't seen for almost 2 years. i miss them so much. i think about what they are doing and who they will become. aaron will be a freshman in high school and claudia will be in middle school. i can't believe it. i miss day to day life with them. little league games and making pancakes for breakfast. i miss claudia climbing into bed with me wanting to hear a story and walking frodo and eddie around the neighborhood wondering what kind of super powers they would have if they were superhero dogs. i miss aaron asking me for advice about girls and playing video games with him and his friends on sleepover nights. i was the first person he told after his first kiss on his birthday, just 4 days before the accident. i thought my heart was going to explode out of my chest when he told me his news.
leaving them behind was difficult. i know that i put up with jasen's shit because i thought that aaron and claudia needed me. now i know that it was me who needed them. loving and knowing aaron and claudia brought the best of me out. i hope that wherever they are that they can sometimes feel me loving them, because i do, fiercely and simply.

i snipered this from someone else. thanks mw. this is freaking great.

2008-08-04T23:05:00.003-04:00

caged bird

2008-08-03T21:59:00.002-04:00

a free bird leaps
on the back of the wind
and floats downstream
till the current ends
and dips his wing
in the orange sun rays
and dares to claim the sky.

but a bird that stalks
down his narrow cage
can seldom see through
his bars of rage
his wings are clipped and
his feet are tied
so he opens his throat to sing.

the caged bird sings
with a fearful trill
of things unknown
but longed for still
and his tune is heard
on the distant hill
for the caged bird
sings of freedom.

the free bird thinks of another breeze
and the trade winds soft through the sighing trees
and the fat worms waiting in a dawn-bright lawn
and he names the sky his own.

but a caged bird stands on the grave of dreams
his shadow shouts on a nightmare scream
his wings are clipped and his feet are tied
so he opens his throat to sing.

the caged bird sings
with a fearful trill
of things unknown
but longed for still
and his tune is heard
on the distant hill
for the caged bird
sings of freedom

~maya angelou

sew sarah, sew

2008-08-01T22:23:00.003-04:00

between dinner with friends, walking with dogs, doing the lobster thing and laundry i finally found a couple of hours to sew tonight. i worked on a series of felt and cork coasters for the niblic, my sisters store here on the island. i have done 8 so far but hope to get in another color before the day in the sun and handling 70+ crates of lobsters today (a crate weighs 90lbs) and 38 barrels of bait kicks my ass and forces me to bed. i love these little 4x4 felt canvases. i like the 2 colors and the way the machine guides me. as my hands guide the fabric through the teeth and needle of the machine it seems to have a will of its own. kind of like ouija boards. did we really make it go or was it the energy and belief it was moving on its own that guided its path? each coaster shows a different crazy path. some frenetic, others circular and flowing. next will be the napkins. and then curtains for katie's shower gift. (and oh, yeah, justin's basketful of pants i'm contructing back together. i love trading skills)

white sugar. bad bad bad

2008-08-01T07:46:00.003-04:00

when i was vegan a long time ago i didn't eat anything made with white, refined sugar. i spent a lot of time in the grocery store reading the labels of everything. there is sugar in a lot of stuff. i also went on a crazy crusade trying to make vegan desserts taste as good as the dairy, refined sugar kind. then i fell of my vegan trip (2 and 1/2 years without cheese. brutal) then i fell off my vegetarian trip (after 10 years i found myself dreaming of bacon. even while i was awake. i had bacon on the brain.) for awhile it was like i never had ideals when it came to food. i just shoved sustenance down my throat. i searched portland for the best cheeseburger (blue spoon. yum) when i was in atlanta shit went way down. i ate southern food like i had never eaten before. in the past 6 months however i have been trying to cut white sugar out again, slowly. i started with coffee. i love coffee. i live for coffee. i love making coffee in the best ever french press. i love coffee with cream and sugar. i have been using organic sweet agave nectar to sweeten my coffee. it's more expensive then sugar but i love it. it makes my coffee taste earthier and more dank. and, as i am slowly cutting out sugar i can feel the difference. sugar is as addicting as cigarettes, booze and drugs for some people. my sister has issues with sugar and she has these crazy sugar binges and it has affected her life since high school. which was forever ago for her :) it's a challenge but i urge you all to try for one week not to eat anything with refined sugar. eat fruit. sweeten with agave nectar or some thing like... use unrefined sugar. eat more fruit. soda? bad! water? good.

chip... if you are reading this...

2008-07-31T17:28:00.005-04:00

1. great memory
2. liquid dinners are not good for livers
3. thanks for the good advice, you are a great friend and i cherish that.
4. let's try to go fishing before september. 5. i'm compassionate NOT volatile and that's the last time we'll discuss it :)
6. this is my fav picture of you from like forever ago.

can i please live here?

2008-07-30T22:18:00.001-04:00

i am now a pogie slayer. kind of.

2008-07-28T19:02:00.009-04:00

i love getting phone calls at 9:30 at night from stephen (brotherinlaw/boss/brother i never wanted but love to have) telling me he's picking me up at 4:00am cause we are going seineing for pogies before work. yup. awesome.

promise

2008-07-26T07:49:00.000-04:00

Promise me you'll always remember: You're braver than you believe, and stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think.
Christopher Robin to Pooh

beginning of the day and the end of the day

2008-07-25T22:05:00.002-04:00

ahhhh shit. what a day.
i started my day sitting on a bench in portland with the coolest guy i have met in a long time... that was a fun 20 minutes.
i ended my day hauling in a pogie siene by hand in the dark and fog by hand. that was a fun 2 hours.
the stuff in between paled in comparison to cool guy and fresh bait.

cam is in training, future smack master

2008-07-23T18:35:00.004-04:00

he evidently only comes on the rainy
days. he's a trooper. he makes his dad do silly things. like climb in crates. he wanted to see if i could fit in there with them. not a chance in hell. stephen and i have a hard enough time not killing eachother on the boat/floats, and by killing i mean we can't not throw things like hammers, rusty nails, rubber bands and pitchforks. the crates are just not gonna cut it.

recycling lobstermen?

2008-07-23T18:07:00.004-04:00

so, i'm on a mission. i'm trying to get the lobstermen to recycle their returnables. most of them throw them in their trash and then throw their trash in a nasty bait barrel and i hate picking through the nasty trash to get to the cans. some of them make the effort to bring them home, and by some i mean one. some of them throw them overboard which infuriates me. so i have a plan. we have this pond on the island owned by the sweetest old couple, sanford and mabel. in the winter we skate on it and it is awesome. there is a little warming hut there with a fireplace inside. there are skates for everyone, hockey equipement, pucks, and hot chocolate and s'mores stuff. there are even lights so we can have night skating. sanford has opened this pond up to the community for years and as a community we try to take care of it. for a lot of us, the pond is a saving grace. the winter gets long and boring and going down there for a night game of hockey breaks the boredom. we always try to have a community skating party... last year i helped organize one and we had over 70 people there. trust me, that's a lot since there are only around 350 people here in the winter. its great, we bring food and music and it's like a lifetime original movie, but real. i always love seeing the wannabe thugs teaching the little kids how to tie their skates or play hockey... so back to my plan... everyone loves the pond, so i am collecting the cans and bottles and donating all the money to help with the pond. my goal is to buy some new skates, a new helmet and lots of hot chocolate and marshmallows. i'm having a competition to see which boat brings the most cans and whoever wins gets... something. i don't know yet. i'll bake them cookies or a pie or something if its an old guy and if its a young guy maybe beer? i don't know. check out my recycle center on the smack. clearly i am a dork. i'm so proud, like it's a 5th grade science project and i won a spot in the science fair. the lobstermen think i'm kind of crazy, but at least i amuse them:)

one of the best ways to wake up... just one, there are others i like more

2008-07-23T07:53:00.002-04:00

i woke up smelling the ocean.

jade and brandon are having...

2008-07-22T21:16:00.001-04:00

a boy! hooo-rah. boys are good. emery will be a badass big sister. love my cousin.

cam works hard.

2008-07-22T20:57:00.002-04:00

my nephew cameron came to work on the Predator with us on monday. it was a crappy rainy day and i thought he would be miserable. nope. he is a worker. he takes after me. it poured and poured more but he didn't care. he didn't want to wear his rain coat. he was soaked and by the end of the day he was pushing those 90+ lb. crates around. he's 5.

damn, it was a good yesterday

2008-07-21T19:13:00.012-04:00

seriously though. all day i felt great, like i was winning on some game show, but it was real life. sadly, there was a period after the jasen experience where i kind of gave up on happiness. long term and normal good day happiness. i felt... well, i felt a lot. but i am mostly free of those feelings now. so anyway great day break down:

1. saw the sunrise with my pup frodo at my favorite beach, sandy.

2. i got to hang out with my new friend matt it was a great couple of hours. he made me laugh, a lot, he gave me great advice about a tough thing and he told me i had the whitest thigh ever. i don't necessarily know if that's good but whatever. matt is an amazing tattoo artist and please, please, please get your future tattoos from him. he's trying to raise 2 kids and he could use the support. plus, he's hot and into yurts which is sweet.

2.5. i got to spend a few great minutes with my favs, katie and dom. love them

3. i went to the fabric store and spent a small fortune on super cool fabric. i will shortly be turning the fabric into dinner napkins to sell in my sister's store which i will charge a small fortune for. i am building my empire one sewing project at a time. i also got some fabric so i can finish making curtians for my living room with the sweet ass fabric i got on ebay. check out my future dinner napkins.

4. i went to whole foods. i had 3 things on my list: an aluminum water bottle for my friend carly because i was afraid she would die from the nasty chems leaching from her nalgene bottle she's had for a million years; coffee and anti-bacterial soap. i left with only purchasing those three things which is a minor miracle. i am a sucker for all those lush veggies but i perservered and i am pretty damn proud of myself.

5. i got the 3rd season of weeds. i love kevin nealon. he is funny shit.

that's the breakdown. and for reals, it was great. my white thigh looks great!

it's early and the morning sounds are making me murderous.

2008-07-16T07:42:00.000-04:00

crows at 4:45am are not fun.
the pyschopath that lives right outside my bedroom window (well, that's where his woodpile is). he thinks splitting wood at 6:30 is cool. i don't. his woodsplitter or saw or whatever the f he uses needs like a pool of WD40.

i'm thankful, really, the sun is shining. just sometimes i want to shoot the damn crows. and i want to blast method man in the dude's window in the middle of the night.
but i won't. i don't know how to shoot the rifle and i lost my favorite method man cd.

birthdays (not mine) and thoughts (these are mine)

2008-07-14T20:40:00.000-04:00

it's wierd. i had to write the date a million times today... on all the slips for the lobstermen, the bait inventory; the lobster inventory etc... and everytime i wrote it i thought some variation of "shit, today is jasen's birthday" the wierd part is this morning when i woke up and wrote the previous entry about how happy i am and wrote about jasen, i didn't even know what the date was. i was still half asleep but was compelled to think about jasen. ok. hippie moment but i was feeling some energy vibes or something.
what i thought about was his birthday 2 years ago. we were in maine med. his whole family was there and then some left. his brother bought him this crazy gas powered remote control beast of a car. it cost $400 or something and i remember thinking, damn, we could use that money for the kids, or the bills or something because neither of us had worked for almost a month at that point. he went outside with his brother and someone else, maybe jerad? they played with that car around the maine med parking lot and snuck him beers and smoked a joint with him. i waited in the room with his sister-in-law and other family and was so worried. worried that he would fall out of his chair or get angry at seeing the outside even if it was just the parking lot or have an accident as he had no control of any body function... i was scared for him to return because i knew he would feel sad and i was still unsure wholly how to sit with his sadness and not try to fix it.
what i think now i shouldn't have cared how much the car cost or if the doctors would find out he got high in the parking lot and drank coors light. it was his birthday. and he deserved whatever moments of happiness and normalcy as he could get.
it's strange to be writing about jasen. it is a part of my life i still keep pretty close and deal with frequently. it's nice to feel that i am letting go.

if you need to find me look here.

2008-07-14T08:04:00.000-04:00

this has been a great summer for me so far. so much better than the last couple. 2 years ago in june my boyfriend jasen got in a serious accident racing motocross and and we spent over 2 months at various hospitals... a couple weeks at MassGeneral; a few weeks at MaineMed and then 5 weeks at The Shepherd Center in Atlanta, Georgia. It was the hardest thing i have ever done. last summer was crazy at my job as the director of the rec center here on the island. it sucked in so many ways i don't even want to go there... (however, not nearly as bad as the previous summer)

this summer i have been the happiest i have been in 3 years. most of it has to do with my job. seriously. i deal with smelly bait, grouchy lobstermen and spend most of my time on a float and i love it. i love being outside, feeling strong, and working with my brother in law, stephen and my friend carly. at the end off the day i feel exhausted, i smell like dead fish and my body is bruised, those crates of lobsters feel heavier then 90lbs after dealing with 40th, 50th, 70th of the day. at the end of the day i feel great. like a want to eat a whole cow and run 3 miles and go to bed. who would have thought that happiness can be found on a small float with 50 barrells of dead fish?

i know, enough quotes already.

2008-07-09T20:22:00.000-04:00

"those who cannot forgive others break the bridge over which they themselves must pass."

confucius

"the secret of happiness is freedom; the secret of freedom, courage."
thucydides

friends are fun but sometimes they disappoint you.

2008-07-06T20:40:00.000-04:00

its true.

darwin is cool. change is good.

2008-07-03T22:03:00.000-04:00

It is not the strongest of the species that survives, nor the most intelligent, but the one most responsive to change.

darwin

cheers for loafers!!

2008-07-03T20:11:00.000-04:00

If a man walks in the woods for love of them half of each day, he is in danger of being regarded as a loafer. But if he spends his days as a speculator, shearing off those woods and making the earth bald before her time, he is deemed an industrious and enterprising citizen.

Henry David Thoreau

the best kind of exhaustion

2008-07-02T17:39:00.000-04:00

ocean air. loading lobsters. steaming to portland. smelly bait. bullshitting with a bunch of bitchy lobstermen. i love it:)

check out tom's website

2008-06-30T07:54:00.000-04:00

thomascookartworks.com

have a great day.

back on the family compound... grange road.

2008-06-29T09:02:00.000-04:00

and i am sooo happy. i slept in my bed. i woke up and made coffee in the best french press i've ever experienced. and when i take a shower i won't have to do it outside. today that would suck cause its foggy and rainy. frodo is pysched to be home too... last night he found every tennis ball and stuffed animal and stick he has and reveled in them. even his hated santa hat.

ahhhh too long.

2008-06-26T11:30:00.000-04:00

yup. been too busy to post my life. plus i've been living in a cottage with no computer, internet access and only an outdoor shower. its been great. plus, i think my mum is the only one who read this anyway. love you mum!

going home

2008-05-17T07:01:00.000-04:00

people always ask me what it is like living on an island, if it's hard, if i miss having the freedom to be spontaneous. yes, it is hard. yes, i miss my freedom. but it is worth it. you want to find out? come visit. i like to share. this is what it's like to come home. how can it not be worth it?

shirl

2008-05-13T21:13:00.001-04:00

knitting needles that once belonged to shirl, i am a lucky, lucky girl. shirl is my friend caitlin's grandmother who passed away on march 1st and she was one amazing woman. one cool thing about growing up on an island is that you know everyone. and everyones family. so i grew up knowing shirl as cait's grandmother. and as the post mistress. and as a master crafter. i knew to be afraid of her cat (i even had a nightmare about this cat 2 or 3 years ago that is still vivid in my mind) and i knew that she was sharp of mind and tongue and wit. as i grew older i came to know more about shirl and i knew to respect her talent as my understanding and appreciation of sewing painting creating expanded. i know that she was liberal. i know that she was outspoken. and i know she was the sweetest battle axe one could find. i know how to imitate her voice, tone and infliction, as much from listening to cait and sharon imitating it to hearing it myself. it makes me smile. it makes me miss cait. so. back to the knitting needles. i am now the proud owner of a slew of her needles and a bag of her yarn. an unfinished mitten. the beginnings of a scarf in a pattern i do not know but will try to learn in luscious teal mohair. i have fat needles. skinny needles. tiny little ones that i fell in love with. and lots and lots of in between needles. i feel so lucky. i feel so proud. i only hope i can channel shirl while i give her needles a whirl and create masterpieces she would be proud of.

new project

2008-05-11T08:15:00.000-04:00

i am a pack rat. i keep everything. and by everything, i mean, i still have my notebook from English class my senior year of high school with Mr. Fischer. and more. this habit is slightly annoying to my friends and family that have to help me move on a regular basis. i have boxes of stuff they see no use for but i see possibilities in. i know i need all the National Geographic's from my grandparents yard sale in the 90's. and the buckets of sea glass. and sand. and fabric. i have been carrying around an unfinished quilt my crafty grandmother gave me A LONG TIME ago. she was going to throw it away. i was going to finish it. it didn't matter to me the fabric was faded in spots, i wanted it. and it has moved with me every i have gone since she gave it to me 10 or 12 years ago. after seeing these adorable mini quilts that soulemama made i became inspired! i have decided to make a series of mini quilts with the old quilt. this is a perfect plan because the quilt is all squares and lends perfectly to a 3x3 square. and i embellish in all the ways i love, applique and embroidery. this is going to be fun.

a sunday of thoughts, memories of sadness.

2008-05-04T19:02:00.000-04:00

it is sunday, another rainy day and a day for contemplation for me. and what does one crafty girl do on rainy contemplative day? sew of course! i knew i needed a small project as i did not have a lot of time... i had a party to attend in the afternoon... so i came up with this small applique project to keep my hands busy while my mind wandered... last night there was a serious car accident on the island involving, of course, young adults and drinking. everyone turned out ok, this time. but it brought me back to a dreadful night 10 years ago when on this island we were not so lucky, and the victims were my friends. i could not help to reflect on that dreadful accident, the loss of life and visiting my friend in jail for driving the car that killed his girlfriend. why does history have to repeat itself? why can't we learn from our past? i don't have the answers. so instead of dwelling, i create. and this is what i created today while i grieved for the loss of brooke, the time lost to jeff and scott while they were in jail, and rejoiced that these kids did not suffer the same fate. no one died. no one will be spending years in jail. but i hoped and wished with every stitch that those kids and their friends understand just how lucky they are on this rainy, gray sunday. i hope they realize that this day is the first day of the rest of their days. a lucky day to be alive, a day to be thankful.

my new fun

2008-04-30T08:24:00.000-04:00

i am wrapping up my tenure at the Recreation Director at the island's rec center, this is my last week! i am excited and sad to move on, but it was time to move on. in the fall i'll be starting my master's in clinical counseling, which i am looking forward to with great anticipation! i will be working with my brother-in-law Stephen this summer on his boat the Predator; however i realized that i needed to find something to do until then. i love to make jewelry and have been itching to learn metalsmithing. so... lucky me, i approached my friend and local metalsmith Gail Miller and asked if she needed any help, and boy does she. she has a studio on the island www.millerdesigns.com and i started working for her a week and a half ago. I LOVE IT! i am starting out with some basic and tedious work but i am having so much fun. she has a hydraulic press that i use to cut different shapes out of brass, nickel and copper. recently i have been texturizing the metal, mostly my hammering the metal with various hammers and other instruments. a great way to get some aggression out! while i am hammering away i am envisioning my own designs and look forward to when i can experiment on my own. but first i have more to learn... sanding the metal, soldering and buffing!

rainy rainy days and delish soup!

2008-04-29T21:21:00.000-04:00

it's been a rainy few days on the island and the recipe for rain is a good book and some yummy soup. i excitedly indugled in making my soup of choice, a recipe made up years ago with my old lover, parnter and best friend Nick (oh, how i miss this man some days). we somehow named it Cuban Black Bean Soup. i do not know what makes it Cuban, but in our tummies, Cuban it is. we adapted it from a cookbook Nick had and made it our own ~ by adding fattening goodness! no measureing cups necessary just throw it all together. my friend Katie called in the midst of my making and her response was "yuuuuummm"
here is the gist~ give it a whirl!

2 good sized sweet potatoes~ cut up
2 cans of black beans ~ rinsed
onions ~ chopped
garlic ~ chopped ~ a good amount
ginger ~ chopped ~ a good amount

throw all of this in a good sized pot with 6-8 cups of water.
boil for an hour
let cool
puree in a blender or other such kitchen appliance
place back in pot and return to burner
add a tablespoon of butter and a tablespoon or 2 of brown sugar
heat up!
add shredded cheddar to bowl when served.
enjoy!
seriously good stuff.